APB and why noone should play this smear of feces

I made a mistake some days ago. I bought the "GTA MMO" APB (or All Points Bulletin as the game is an acronym for) and received entry to the beta of this "tremendous Multiplayer game". But what seems to be a promise of high tech fun with friends and foes turn out to be a bloated and shitty GTA multiplayer clone. actually, I might go as far to say that this game is THE WORST MMO I have ever laid my hands on. Maybe even one of the worst games I have ever tried.

Why am I being so harsh? well, let me count the ways:

1. The game is bloated. This might be a harsh thing to say, but it is. APB takes at least 8 minutes from the minute I press start, till I can find myself running around the hellish city. 4-5 of those is spent at a loading screen and 2 minutes is spent just waiting for the damn thing to start. This is inexcusable, even for a game in beta (my definition of beta, is a game/program that is not finished, but has a usable engine and gameplay - this has not) and I loathe having to change instance.

2. There is no PVE and the PVP SUCKS!. This game is solely for the pvp audience which might be great for some, but I hate every second of it, just check out one of my former posts. Every mission begins quite calmly but that quickly changes when the criminals (or police depending on your side) joins the fun. It is completely random who gets pitted against you and I have many times experienced a better equipped enemy rushing towards me with an assault rifle (that strangely enough shoots just as accurate as a fucking sniper rifle and does more damage!), That alone makes me want to quit the mission, a feature not implemented in the game which will then lead to you dreading every mission you may have to do and hoping never to encounter an enemy in your mission again. Also, there are no NPC's other than the quest givers and those brainless pedestrians jumping in front of your car. May I ask why?! I can't see the problem in creating PVE missions where there might be some AI enemies coming after you and not having a fucking machine gun trooper storming your raid objective.

3. The other players are assholes. Yes, this is another feature that might be subjective, but still, when another enemy gets on your tail you might (I only think it happens when more than one enemy answers the call of help) be able to call backup. If anyone answers that call, they can help you shoot the opposition. But what happens when you get put together with an ass of a teammate? someone who never even arrives?! You get to fight two enemies at one fucking time, NO. MERCY. THERE!! Oh, and did I already mention that there is no opportunity to quit missions and give up? no quarter there either, my friend, you will have to keep rushing, keep getting killed, keep wasting your expensive ammo and lose prestige + get a dreading "mission lost" screen when the time is over, even though you have done all the other objectives and saved the local ice cream store.

4. The missions are horrendously boring. according to the status screen of the game, I have been playing for about 7 hours and therefore tried quite a bit of missions. But what does that matter if they are all the same? Sure that happens in WoW too (kill this, loot that etc.) But there is just one difference, WoW had a sense of FUCKING PROGRESS! In APB I didn't feel like I saved the city, I just felt like the game developers have thrown a stick that they told me to fetch while people are shooting at me. And when I return the stick? They just throw it again, and again.

There are some "good" things about this game, don't forget that. There is a heap of customisation where everything including clothes, cars (if you don't buy one that the developers are very proud of and don't want to be blemished!) and music(?) can be changed to suit your needs, which is nice. Also, the graphics are bright, modern and shiny. Although, enough to warrant a 6 minute loading time? FUCK NO!

All in all, this game and the developers deserve a big empty void of FAIL. I sincerely hope that "real" critics feel the same and don't get suckered in by RealTime Worlds bright lights like an insect just as I did.

//SKT_THOMAS